Makeover Your House!

Take out a big-assed loan and do it up right. Make a damned statement.
Put in a reflecting pond out in front. Remember; it's not just a house... it's a big tomb.

Become a Biker

With 685 days left, here's a
damned good suggestion.
Join a motorcycle gang.
Since you already have 
the tattoos (Tatts in biker-speak) 
all you need to do is; buy
a Harley, dress biker style and understand terms like; tail gunner,
trailer twinkie, 22, 20-20,
mattress cover and war wagon.
Realize this is colorful language
and will ultimately enhance your vocabulary. Sure it's a big change
but time's a wastin'------
Grab your brain bucket
and burn some rubber.

POGO Sticking!

You can get a pogo stick. My kids borrowed a neighbors pogo sticks and for some reason, they are addicted to them. They are noisy and a terrible mode of transportation. You got 687 days left... You might as well hop for part of the time.

Here is a terrible picture I took today of my kids pogo-sticking.

Tattoo Yourself, Your Family and Your Friends

Why not? The end of the 
world is just around the corner anyway... those nasty mistakes wont make a huge difference in the quality of your final days. Go big. Make some big statements and make them in ink.

Make Some Extra Spending Money

Find some girl scouts and sell them some goddamned cookies.
Sure, we're coming up on the end of the world but you still have
 to have a few bucks in your pocket.

Time's a Waistin'

It's never too late to learn a new language. With 708 days left
you can learn one. Like Basque. 665,800 people speak this language
so the odds of meeting anyone, who wants to converse in
Basque is slim to none but, come on people, smile on yer brother,
everybody get together, try to love one another right now.

709 Days Left

Come on, 709 days is plenty of time to clean out the drawers in your office. You know you have said you were going to do it but, as usual, you keep putting it off. You don't want the world to end while your drawers are a disaster.  What will the aliens, who move into your house, think if your drawers are a mess?

Oh, you didn't know about the alien take over? They are just waiting to move in after we all die. And they WILL go through all of your stuff.